My Guru, My Sakhya (Niru)

As I enter the Milpitas temple, my heart starts to quicken because I feel the strength of His presence drawing me in. The same question fills my mind each time I visit - how will Baba look at me today? What a strange question you may ask. 

Every time I see Baba, His eyes take on a slightly different expression. Sometimes, I feel that his eyes look sad, commiserating with me. At other times, it seems as if He is smiling at me; even laughing at the way my mind struggles to coalesce around His effulgence, and the totality of his Being.  A handful of times, He even looks grim, like He is contemplating His devotees’ troubles and difficulties. 

Yesterday, I walked into the temple with prasadam and planned to stay there only for 15 to 20 minutes. When I sat down to gaze upon Him, I felt His eyes were just a little different. For the first time ever, I felt He was looking at me as a friend. His eyes were smiling, warm and friendly, and full of Love. There was a thrilling psychic connection that I felt in that instant!  I could not move, literally and figuratively. I simply sat on the ground before him, and gazed at Him for more than an hour. The look of friendliness did not change. My true Sakhya - no hierarchy of place and status, no reaching above to hold Him within my grasp. 

The image that I hold in my heart is a simple one - Baba is sitting - I am kneeling in front of Him, placing my head on His right foot that is crossed over the left knee. My palms cup His foot holding on tight. And, suddenly, I feel His warm palms on my head pressing down, blessing me! 

Every devotee’s cherished dream! If fulfilled, it is sure to release me from the cycle of birth and death.