Feeding Jalebi to Baba after he came in my dream (Renu Khattar)
My father was not a regular temple goer. His passion was to help the less fortunate. That was his religion. He was a true Karma Yogi expecting nothing in return. On the other hand, my mother went to the temple almost every day and used to read the Ramayan. With this sort of family atmosphere, I developed a deep faith in God and a passion for Seva (service). Yet, I have no recollection of hearing or seeing Shirdi Baba until 2007. Maybe my time had not come and I wasn’t ready to receive and enjoy Baba’s presence in my life.
The scene from the movie ‘Amar Akbar Anthony’, where Baba is portrayed as restoring eyesight to an old woman devotee did not mean much to me. But I distinctly remember the song. Nothing stirred in me at that time.
My good friend Vaiju and I, had visited Sananthan Dharma Kendra in San Jose, along with our spouses in 2007. When we were walking out after Darshan, I asked her, “Who is Sai Baba?” Then, we walked around the temple to learn about Baba through his photographs displayed there. I kept wondering about Baba and was eager to learn more about him.
Within weeks, I saw Baba in a dream on a Thursday early morning. In the dream, I could see Baba sitting with his right leg over his left with Ganesha on his left. I remember the actual experience of him nudging me, a gentle kick with the right foot indicating that He wanted to be fed. I remember feeding Him the jalebi. I could hear the crunch when I took my hand to His mouth to feed Him. I was amazed to see the Sai baba whom I had seen in the temple. I woke up and told Mukesh that we have to offer jalebi to him at the Kifer road (Sunnyvale, California) temple. During my visit this time, I felt very peaceful looking at Him. I felt blissfully happy. It felt like I had found something that I had been looking for but never knew what I was looking for. This feeling was never felt before in all the past years visiting various temples. He gave me permission to connect with Him. I sat in the temple, my eyes thirsty to see Him.
It is hard to believe that even after 100 years, His Grace is still with us. His devotees are growing in number. More and more people are feeling His connection. It used to bother me that He did not come into my life earlier. I felt that had I missed out a lot and that I wasted all these years. I was oblivious to the fact that He was there with me all the time! I was sleeping. Now, I have woken up to realize that He came into my life when He felt I was ready. He knows what is best for us. He is Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh, Parvathi, Lakshmi. I see all the Gods in Him now.
In 2008, I took early retirement. With Baba's blessings and Panditji’s (the priest), I started doing Baba’s Seva in VVGC temple on Thursdays. In 2009 September, I went to India and decided to go to the Shirdi for Darshan for the first time. We were standing in the line for a long time and finally reached the main hall. As we were walking towards Baba, I noticed that the security guards and Panditji were not letting anyone stand in front of Baba even for a minute. Devotees were being pushed to move ahead quickly. I remember praying to Baba that “I need a few minutes with You, You have to let me stay.” As our turn came, someone came to talk to Panditji’s, so he got busy discussing something and forgot to tell us to move. Standing there, I cried tears of joy. Touching His Paduka and His Samadhi to my heart's content I thanked Him again and again. It felt like He heard me. Every time we visit Shirdi, we feel His love and presence.
I went to Shirdi again in September 2010 with my older sister. She didn't want to fly, so we took the train. On the train, we met a wonderful young lady who was traveling with her mother-in-law. When she found out that my sister and I were going to Shirdi, she called her husband and asked him to arrange passes for us. They live in a small town south of Shirdi and have a business in Shirdi. When we reached the hotel, someone was already waiting to take us for Darshan. We had a beautiful Darshan. Later, we took the whole package of robes (which included handkerchief and undershirt) for offering, not knowing that they don't accept robes in the temple as an offering. The priest (Panditji ) opened the package, touched everything to Samadhi, and gave it back to us asking us to deposit it in the donation room. We came out of the temple and I sat down under a tree to fold the robes before taking them to the donation room. As I was folding the robes, I felt someone touch my left shoulder. I turned around and saw an old man. He said in Hindi, "beta yeh baniyan muzhe de do" (Dear child, please give me this undershirt). I smiled and said. "Sure! if you need this you can have it," and gave him the undershirt. I turned to tell my sister about him, but he was nowhere to be seen. He just disappeared. I really believe that it was Baba who came to ask me for an undershirt!
Now I understand that miracles are possible with His Grace and that He is living within us.